There is no discernible reason as to why I was so damn emotional this past weekend. Chalk it up to hormones but I found myself in tears pretty often. Sunday morning was the worst, while making breakfast I had to stop and lean over the counter and cry, I felt guilty for acting like a shit towards the hubs. I was frustrated with myself because I am getting forgetful, I don't like it and I guess I was taking it out on the hubs. I didn't communicate what was going on inside my head, a departure from my typical self, instead I internalized my frustration and it seemed to seep out in tears.The weepies seemed to dissipate before we went crib shopping, thank goodness! I didn't want to appear in public as a crying mess.
Speaking of, I dreaded the crib shop. I have a strong dislike for large big box stores but can't really afford the small boutique-y shops so I anticipated crib browsing to be a pretty heinous experience. To my surprise, it wasn't bad! We found a couple of cribs that we liked and will most likely buy one in several weeks. It was really exciting and the hubs enjoyed it too. What I think was helpful was the utilitarian nature of our outing and that there is not much of an opportunity to shove gender "norms" down ones throat.There is nothing more stomach turning (for me) than the rigid gender stereotypes. Perhaps it is from years of gender studies and work in the domestic violence field that turn pink and blue repellent. I know I will have to succumb to some of the marketing but I am hopeful that I can keep it to the minimum.
According to my ticker I am less than 100 days from meeting my little bub. I really, really hope that all goes well. Tomorrow is our first ultrasound since 18+ weeks, it is both exciting and scary. I will also drink the orange liquid for the gestational diabetes test. Crazy, I am knocking on the door of the third trimester and while it seems really fast time seems to have slowed down. Weeks do not go by as quickly and I am trying to appreciate every single day.
Lastly, I have a good friend IRL who is in the beginning of her 2ww of her first DE cycle. I am wishing and hoping for her as well as Jes who is about to embark on her 2ww. Please universe, healthy take home babies all around.
Hormones and forgetfulness suck. And the hormone crazies last --I'm almost 6 weeks post partum and still a wreck some days :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad the pregnancy is going well!!!
This weekend I almost screamed at my husband when he suggested that we take a look at a different hospital (because he knew someone who had a baby there). This would involve adding YET ANOTHER flippin' doctor into the mix -- you know, beyond the local OB and the MFM (who doesn't deliver but has two OBs in his practice who do), now we'd have to add yet another OB who delivers at the different hospital and I don't know who that is or how to get a recommendation for them or what. My brain just went "BOING!!!" and it was all I could do to not keep yelling and crying. Instead of just saying "this hospital has the better rated NICU and we're good where we are." And, then, I didn't want to let it go. It's amazing what hormones will do.
ReplyDeleteGlad the crib shopping experience was a good one!
Wow, less than 100 days!! Thinking of you and your u/s tomorrow! And, good luck with the yummy orange stuff...
Sending good vibes for your friends, too.
can not believe its less than 100 days.... crazy!! i have a friend IRL who is basically in the same week as you....everytime i see her i think of you :-)
ReplyDeletethanks for the shout out!!
we will both bring home our babies in 2012
Glad you managed to find a crib you liked. The forgetfulness is so frustrating isn't it? Less than 100 days..how exciting!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on making it to 100 days! Looking forward to following yuur journey into motherhood. Me...new to blogging world and on day 7 of 2WW. And its dragging on. Hope I am as lucky as you to be only 100 days away from my dreams.
ReplyDelete